Smarty and Jared’s Thanksgiving Post o’ Fun – Part One

Jared and the Horse discuss Thanksgiving with a modicum of Phillies-related content

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Once again, your favorite horse is back to provide you with some vaguely Phillies related content for Thanksgiving. As I’ve mentioned in years past, there’s not a ton of Phillies or baseball related stuff that relates to Thanksgiving Day, so to help fill the void I’ve enlisted the services of our very own Jared Frank.

Will this result in a better than usual Thanksgiving post? Or have we just doubled the inanity?

Does it matter? At the least, we gave you something to read on the potty while clearing out some space between dinner and dessert.

The horse predicts football games

Naturally, the first thing I’ll discuss on a baseball blog is football. Because until Major League Baseball listens to my suggestions and tries to break the NFL’s exclusive hold on the day, football is the only game in town.

Here’s a brief rundown on each of Thursday’s games, and I’ll also provide a prediction against the spread if you’d like to use the information for recreational purposes. Because I know none of you would be crazy enough to take gambling advice from a horse.

Lions vs. Bears

Most years, Eagles fans spend Thanksgiving laughing at the ineptitude of the Lions during the early game, and then actively rooting against the Cowboys in the late afternoon game. But in a rare change of pace, this year, the Lions game is of far more importance to the Eagles’ playoff fate. The Lions are shaping up to be the Eagles’ primary competition for the NFC’s top playoff, so it would be beneficial if they lost.

But are the Bears capable of handing them a defeat? The Bears were a fun story in the first few weeks of the season, until they lost on a miracle play against the Commanders, which seems to have broken them. They’ve now lost five in a row, and a short week against the team with the league’s best record doesn’t seem like a recipe for success.

On the other hand, losing on Thanksgiving is kind of the Lions’ thing, as they have a record of 37-45-2 on the holiday. That doesn’t sound too awful until you realize that always getting to play at home on a short week should be a huge advantage.

The Lions actually used to be decent on Thanksgiving, but the last two decades have been bleak. They lost the Thanksgiving game for nine straight years, 2004 to 2012, before ripping off a four-year winning streak from 2013 to 2016 that included an unfortunate drubbing of the Chip Kelly Eagles in 2015. But the Lions quickly reverted to their losing ways, with seven straight defeats, including three to the Bears. This might be the best Lions team ever, so if they can’t find a way to beat the Bears on Thanksgiving this season, it may never happen.

That said, I think they’ll easily take care of business this year, and their dream season will continue right up until they face the Eagles in the NFC Championship Game.

The pick: Lions -11

Cowboys vs. Giants

Everyone figured the Giants were going to suck this season, but most pundits expected the Cowboys to contend for the playoffs. I personally thought it was very easy to predict that they’d have a down season, but a combination of injuries and little depth has caused them to crater, last week’s ridiculous win over the Commanders notwithstanding.

The Giants seem to have thrown in the towel on the 2024 season, going with Tommy DeVito at quarterback, presumably so they can capture a high draft pick with which they can select their next failure at the position. Say what you will about the Cowboys, but owner Jerry Jones will likely never allow the team to tank. The Cowboys will win their second game in a row giving their fans just enough hope to not completely give up on the season, which will make their inevitable shellacking the following week all that more satisfying.

The pick: Cowboys -4

Packers vs. Dolphins

Full disclosure: I rarely watch the night game on Thanksgiving. I’m usually pretty footballed-out at that point and would rather enjoy some sort of counter programming. (Might I suggest watching Thanksgiving episodes of some of your favorite shows like Friends or Bob’s Burgers?)

For some reason, the Packers and Dolphins seem to play on Thanksgiving quite often, so this year, the NFL just decided to pit them against each other. The Packers seem to be one of those teams that will rack up a good win total but can’t seem to beat the very best teams in the league. (Their three losses are to the Eagles, Vikings, and Lions.)

The Dolphins are clearly not in that category, although considering starting quarterback Tua Tagovailoa almost died earlier this season, its impressive that they’ve managed to remain on the fringes of contention.

Considering the Packers are good, if not great, while the Dolphins are mediocre, and that they’re making a Miami team play at night in Green Bay in late November, it feels like the spread for this game should be a lot higher than three points in Green Bay’s favor. I’m a big “This line is telling me something” guy, so I’ll say the Dolphins pull the upset.

The pick: Dolphins +3

Al Reach: the Phillies’ own Pilgrim

Back in June, I discussed Danny Cox, one of the rare England-born Phillies. Jared will now avail you with the saga of another Englander with ties to the Phillies: Al Reach

In 1620, the Pilgrims sailed from England to America, establishing a new colony upon a rocky beach. And two centuries later, a pilgrim would come to Philadelphia, establishing a new team.

By the time Al Reach came over from London in the 1840s, the voyage was significantly more pleasant than it had been for the passengers on the Mayflower. Young Reach would become a baseball player in the game’s early days, first joining clubs in New York. He’d eventually make his way to Philadelphia, where he joined the Athletics (not the Philadelphia Athletics who became the Kansas City Athletics who became the Oakland Athletics who became the peripatetic Las Vegas/Sacramento/Connie Mack is Rolling in His Grave Athletics. This was a different Athletics).

After his playing career was done, Reach, along with a cadre of other interested investors, became a founder of the Philadelphia National League Base Ball Club, AKA the Phillies (AKA the Quakers, but that didn’t stick).

Like the Pilgrims at Mayflower Rock, the Phillies found their new National League home to be full of rocky soil and rough going; most of their early decades were full of defeat, though they did capture a pennant in 1915. But they would persevere and eventually see verdant life burst from the soil, in the form of their first ever World Series Championship a mere 65 years later. And it all started with a young pilgrim from England.

Who wants to see some dingers?

You know what I’m thankful for? Phillies home runs! Here are the longest ones the team hit during the 2024 season:

We’ll be back tomorrow with some more vaguely Phillies-related Thanksgiving content! Until then, please enjoy your Thanksgiving Eve festivities responsibly. Taxis and rideshares are readily available, so please take advantage if you’re planning to enjoy a few alcoholic beverages!